How many times in a week do you come across a Facebook update like this “ I am so proud of my son/daughter, he got ….” , The list to the dots is endless. It could be about the 4 year old painting a tree or being the soccer champion or getting into school’s gifted program. Sometimes, the pride is displayed in the seemingly mature, intelligent conversation the kids have had with the parent.
Yes, parents are proud of their kids and their achievements, nothing wrong in that. It’s the validation that the parents are looking from their friends, which throws me off.
Achievements of kids should be shared but with the right audience. The right audience is grandparents, spouse and perhaps a friend or two (if you are lucky) who will genuinely be happy about your child’s achievements. Others, the so called friends on Facebook will just feel bad, super competitive about their own children but, yes will definitely “Like “ your status because everyone around is trying to be the pleasant person who “Likes” people’s status.
Every single person would agree that a person who brags about himself is a totally obnoxious person; a bragging parent is no different. Plus, give your children a break; they are still young and impressionable. As a parent you are quietly teaching him/her that anything they do is only good when others appreciate it.
Science reveals Talking about us—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money. Sometimes, parents indulge in bragging when things in their lives are not going well, could be job, relationship issues or just a low self –image. Bragging about kids, could make you feel momentarily better and those “likes” on Facebook could elevate your mood but probably the best thing to do would be to fix your own problems, rather than making other parents uncomfortable about their kids’ achievements.
All this child-centered bragging, despite its patent violation of the social ideals of modesty and respect for others, may be, says University of Pennsylvania sociologist Annette Lareau, PhD, an outgrowth of the hothouse style of parenting that pervades our culture. Lareau, who has studied the habits and behaviors of contemporary families, calls this approach “concerted cultivation.” She says it’s a way middle-class parents tend to see “parenting as a project,” something to be managed and organized and programmed.
Yes, sharing is human but share with the people that will be genuinely happy for you. And if your kid is actually great, the world will know, you will not have to share. Every parent wants his child to be successful, smart and popular, the feeling is universal among all parents. “The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it” – Criss Jami